Snowed In

My Great Good Friends,

Snowed in, I’ve been watching old school broadcast TV. Actually it is not too bad, and I’ve noticed an interesting advertising trend.
The most ubiquitous hook to come from Madison Avenue since ‘new and improved’ and ‘testing proves testing works’: Apparently a sweet spot has been discovered in the eternal quest to separate the credulous from their money.

Having deconstructed the elements common to each of these successful campaigns I am now looking for a tear jerky cause, or disease, or some pathetic downtrodden minority (preferably from an unpronounceable war torn region), or, a third world natural disaster in a picturesque location, so we too can begin soliciting those lovely credit card numbers.

Any suggestions?

Critical Elements:

  • $19.00 per month.
  • Swelling Ennio Morricone music.
  • A logo blanket ‘gift’ for each new subscriber.
  • A non-actress looking actress portraying Wife / Mother / Daughter, whatever.
  • Somebody’s got to break down in tears.

Please confine your suggestions to original opportunities. However, novel combinations of extant campaigns may be acceptable. For example: Marlo Thomas for abused animals with PTSD whose parents can’t afford their cancer treatment. Or, Sally Struthers sings Lilith Fair anthems for dolphins caught in tuna nets who need land mine related surgery performed by border crossing French Doctors looking for free vacations.

For legal reasons please leave aside those low hanging fruit already being exploited by the $19.00 per month crowd: